Tuesday, June 14, 2016

would you mind coming with me, miss...

When I was young, stupid and virile - yes, girls can be virile too - my friend and I got quite drunk and went to the diviest nightclub in town at 2 am. It was called Stilettos and over the door was a neon sign that said Stilettos in the shape of a shoe (I guess that's in case you thought they meant the blade). 

Inside, they had one of those new-fangled lighted disco floors. It looked a lot like this: 

Image result for saturday night fever

Except the people were wasted and their clothes were not nearly so nice.

My friend and I decided we didn't want to put down our beer glasses as we danced on the new-fangled floor with one arm keeping the beat above our heads.

The Stilettos bouncers decided they didn't want us to dance with one arm above our heads whilst waving a big beer glass over the new-fangled lighted disco floor with the other hand. 

We thought they were party poopers.

My friend, a very tall woman with a loud mouth when intoxicated, was vocal about the differing desires of ourselves and the owners of the new-fangled lighted  disco floor. After a verbal altercation, she was frog-marched out the front door with her arm twisted up behind her back by a large bouncer while I had no choice but to follow along meekly since I am short and no threat at all to an ex-SAS soldier.

 (well, that's what he looked like anyhow) 

My friend and I would laugh every time we thought about it for years afterward; how the hell did we manage to get ourselves thrown out of the place with the lowest behavioural standards in the entire world, a place where people go to drink and dance, and for what heinous crime were we ejected? Why, drinking and dancing, of course. 

I also got kicked out of a fitness class last year. That was pretty funny. 

Basically the instructor was fresh out of 20 years as an army Warrant Officer and he hadn't quite adjusted to the fact that we civilians were not going to hop to his every command as soon as he made it. 

Have you seen Major Payne? 

I am kind of a 'free spirit' at the best of times, but try barking in my face at 6 am when I'm wearing trackies. 

No good can ever come of it.

Check out my novel: http://www.amazon.com/The-Anzac-Girl-ebook/dp/B004VS7I8E

No comments:

Post a Comment